Wednesday, June 30, 2010
The Calm Before the Storm
The weather here has been very unstable. Hot and humid. There is a eerie feeling in the air. I hold my breath and wait for the storm. Lots of lightening. I hear the sound of distant thunder. The birds become still and silent. They are waiting just like I am. Waiting for the rains and the winds.
This is exactly how I am feeling now. On the weekend we are having our Annual BBQ for Paul's side of the family. My side comes in August. We do it every year. I am thinking it is about our 7th or 8th year. We like to gift our families with a nice relaxing time and lots and lots of nourishing food. It is something I look forward to and yet somehow, something I dread. Just like a summer storm.
I feel nervous and uneasy. I am busy from morning until night planning, preparing, baking, cooking. Cleaning, preparing rooms, thinking. Thinking about what has to be done. Thinking about how it will go. Hoping for good weather not only for the golfers (mostly the men) but also for the women who stay back at the house to talk, drink wine and catch up.
It works out well. We all have loads of fun. The food usually turns out great, if I do say so myself. This BBQ will be bittersweet. Paul's sister, one of my dearest people, is moving across the country in just a few short weeks. One of his brother's health is in question. His other brother won't be there as there is some minor feud with yet another brother going on. His mother, who suffers from Dementia, will not be here either. So this may be the last time we all get together. They are all staying the night. I will be dead tired but it is so worth all the effort. It always is.
Its just this "meantime". The calm before the storm. I wait with bated breath.